All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
that is very illegal...i love you.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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