Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is

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(269): View more from Michigan

i think the cat found all the blow we lost...

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(312): View more from Illinois

I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?

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(208): View more from Idaho

this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"

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(708): View more from Illinois

Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.

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(469): View more from Texas

I will probably be peed on at some point today.

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(785): View more from Kansas

THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.

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