i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
