I feel like abortions should bother me more
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
