i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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