he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
