Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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