i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
