I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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