is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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