he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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