i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
