Taylor Swift is so right about you.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
