ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Randomize
