its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
