she looked like the bat from fern gully.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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