You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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