Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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