dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
