come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
