I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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