The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
