He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
