I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize