i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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