Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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