We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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