Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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