i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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