i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
