airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
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