I just made out with a guy for $7.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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