I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
