your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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