...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
