David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
