My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize