On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
