I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
