how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
