I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
