Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
