You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
