What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
