So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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