singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize