it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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