stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
