Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
