Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize