How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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