I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
