I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
