The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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