she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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