was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
